When last I shared
about my situation with the pending divorce, etc... the Eventually-To-Be-EX-Wife had moved in with her boyfriend and seemed to be getting her life in some sort of order. At the time, she seemed to be doing OK. But the kids, and a few other family members, all had a bit more insight into the whole situation than I did. So here's the latest on what's been going on since then.
After having spent Thanksgiving weekend with Jo, and the boyfriend, my son had some interesting observations about the man that Jo has connected with. And about their relationship. The first of which was "He's unstable."WHAT?!?
Yes. It would seem that Jo's boyfriend is bi-polar. Mentally unstable, as it were. But he's not violent, instead his disorder causes him to be quite lethargic. So, having left me because she didn't think I did enough around the house, she hooked up with a guy who spends the majority of his time sleeping on the couch.Hunh?
Then there was the part about him being unemployed. He works some kind of construction job that he has to travel alot for when he's working. but it leaves him out of work during the winter months. Which may not be a bad thing since he seems to need a lot of time to sleep. But not having the work means he doesn't have the money to buy the medication that stablizes his bi-polar disorder (thus the lethargic lounging).
Having observed these things, the Boy pondered out loud "I don't get it. Why would mom get together with this guy? Yeah, you don't do much around the house, but you work at least 9 hours a day."Geeeee, thanks!
"You know what I mean."
Yes. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'm not a handy individual - but I do plenty of other chores around the house that need my attention. And I'm good at them!But I digress...
Bob didn't think things were going to work out between them because of the whole sleeping on the couch all the time thing.
The next person to weigh in was my brother-in-law, Mike (my red-neck mechanic). He told me about a phone call with the Eventually-To-Be-EX and how she expressed a desire to go to the bar after work for a few drinks, but she couldn't because "Bobby doesn't like it when I go out without him.". Mike said "I guess, knowing that the two of them met while she was still married means he doesn't quite trust her to go out by herself."Go figure.
Mike also mentioned how close Bobby's family lives to him. And that they know everything about his business. And that always means trouble. Or, at least, a serious lack of privacy. So, Mike didn't think that it would be long before Jo got tired of things.Can you guess where this is going?
About two weeks before Christmas Jo and Bobby had a fight. It was never made clear as to whether or not Jo left him, of if he kicked her out. But either way, she ended up moving in with her sister, Lori. Who just happens to be married to...
He wasn't too happy about this, but he takes everything in stride. Aliesha was actually more upset about it than he was. Because Aliesha (who was already staying with Mike and Lori) and Jo have had issues with one another for a few years now. "I screamed and cried." she told me.
As a result of all of this, Jo had to quit her job. Well... not that she had
to. But because of where Mike and Lori live, and where her job is, she determined that she couldn't make the 1 1/2 hour drive to work everyday. Or maybe she decided that she didn't trust the car to make the trip everyday. Or maybe it was the amount of gas that she would have to put into the car to drive it that much everyday. Or perhaps it was a combination of all of those factors.
There were issues with Bobby about Jo's furniture and some other stuff that she had to get out of his place. And she still hadn't gotten everything out of the trailer she had been renting before that. And of couse she still owes the owner of that trailer several months worth of rent that she never really could afford. And I'm sure that there are some utilities that she's not talking about, too.
And then, over New Years Eve, the registration on the car (her car, which is still my car, until we sign it over to her next week) expired - with the inspection as well. So, now she doesn't really have a car. Or at least not one that she can drive legally. But I went ahead and took care of the registration for her. She has to worry about the inspections herself...
I guess it's a good thing that Mike is a mechanic.
And yet, amid all of this, Jo has managed to continue to market herself. When I stopped in to pick up Aliesha last weekend, I caught a glimpse of a message on Jo's IM. It was from some guy named Jack. Something about a banana and torture. I was tempted to reply with a witty, if not backhanded remark. But I refrained.
On the ride home Aliesha informed me that Jo must be getting desperate or stupid because she had been in a chat room for 30 - 40 year olds talking to some kid with the screen name lilpunk2007. And she didn't realize that it was some 16 year old kid trying to score with an older woman. Then Aliesha asked the kid straight up what High School he goes to, and he told her. So much for that romance.
Subsequently, Lori has informed me that Jo has finally admitted that she's "F---ed up her life."Just her life?
Not that it changes anything between us. Not for either of us. But it does give me a strange, perhaps sadistic, sense of satisfaction to know that she's made a mess of her life while mine is getting on track. And not that she's made a mess of things, but that she knows it.
I'm still living paycheck-to-paycheck. And I still don't have any furniture upstairs (nothing but the dining room and the TV). And I still need to get a lot of work done around the house. But, for the most part, I'm out of debt. I'm staying current on the bills. And it won't be too long before I can afford to get new furniture. And then start getting some of the work done on the house. Then who knows...
Before too long, I might actually be dating again.
Labels: Divorce Sucks, Family