Sex is everywhere !!!
As some of you are aware, I posted recently on the phenomenon of me "crunching" ice...
Which I normally don't do!
And, in spite of any denials I may have implied in that post, I will admit that I have been feeling a bit frustrated about the fact that I haven't had sex in a year and seven months (yes, JT, I know that's nothing by comparison to your plight). Now, all of a sudden, it seems that sex is eveywhere I turn.
Or am I just that much more aware of how often it's brought up in our culture. Whenever I check my e-mails, there's always an article about sex somewhere on the Netscape site. When I surf for news or other information, there are always ads for dating services, etc... And of course, there's the occasional "porn-junk-e-mail" that shows up in my "junk-e-mail" account. As well as the general prevelence of pornography in our pop-culture.
And now it's showing up in some of the blogs I visit. Which is OK, because everyone has the right to blog about whatever they want to blog about. And I do read their blogs because I like the variety of perspectives on life that their views provide me with. But recently, it's been getting to me because it has made me so painfully aware of what I've been missing since my Eventually-To-Be-EX left me. Especially Joanne's recent post about how much she's been missing it, too. At least I'm not alone, right?
But I still miss having someone. And not just the sex, but all of the little things that are a part of the relationship. All of the things that are either a part of sex, or that lead to it, or that enhance the relationship through the sex. I miss the physical contact, hugging, kissing, touching, tasting, smelling. I miss playing with someone's hair. I miss joking about sex, and the teasing. I miss the anticipation and the foreplay, and even the cuddling afterwards. And the worst part... even if I could do something about the frustration, even if I were dating someone seriously - or had someone who was interested in me - I still couldn't do anything. And why?
Because I run right smack-dab into my own morality. Or should I say, not my own morality, but what I know to be God's morality. As a Christian I really struggle with the whole issue of sex and lust and all that those things encompass. It's really tough at times, especially when I consider how important it is to me to be true to my convictions about sex (actually, about everything, but right now sex is really in the forefront of my struggles). Yet I fear, that if such a temptation were to arise, if some attractive woman were to express her affections to me, would I be able to resist? Women have become so much more open, and even aggressive, in their sexuality these days. I'm sure that there are plenty of men who see this as a great thing. I have to admit that a part of me agrees with that thought. But I also wish that I didn't. If presented with such a situation, would I give in to the temptation and then simply chalk it up to being human, or dismiss it as just another shortcoming in my faith? Or would I be able to stand on my convictions? I really don't know the answer to that. Especially the way I'm feeling right now.
And why am I sharing all of this? Because, in part, I'm hoping that by getting this out there in the open, I'll get enough of it off of my chest to make it easier to deal with. I'm not even dating yet, so it's not like the opportunity to fail is going to present itself anytime soon. Still, one never knows what life may bring on any given day. But also because I really want to know how a Christian is supposed to maintain his/her sense of sexual purity in a society that seems to have dismissed such values as not only "outdated", but as some sort of "bigotry" against anyone who doesn't hold those same values. How does a person, any person, who wishes to strive for a higher standard of sexuality cope in such a culture?
And, again, all of this before I've even started dating. What's a guy to do?
Well... thanks for listening (listening? - reading?). Any comments, suggestions, or advice is fully appreciated.